Posts Tagged ‘lgbt’

Newer Entries »

Thin mints, cupcakes and seriously?

January 14, 2012

At times I feel like I’m living in a weird movie that if taken without copious amounts of coffee would lead to the utter collapse of Western Civilization (ok, maybe not that extreme!).  Any week that combines a full moon Monday with a Friday the 13th will now be spent under covers.  Or in suit of armor.  Then I caught up on the news of the week.  Apparently one Girl Scout is boycotting (and asking others to do the same) the annual Girl Scout Cookie Sale.  Look, I get that she is a kid: I don’t like a kid being politicized (either one!).  Adults need to step in here.  Girl Scouts from the time of, oh Juliette Low, have always been somewhat left-of-center.  And have always welcomed member and often with scholarship dollars to make sure all kids have the opportunity.  Radical, no, wait, inclusive.  This shouldn’t be a headline: it should be a teaching moment.  We don’t all have to agree on a topic, on an issue but we all need to learn civility and that really, everybody is welcome.  It’s not about religion: it’s about being kind and decent to each other.  The world is hard enough without encouraging our children to boycott each other.  Go buy a box of thin mints.

Oh, and why you are at it, buy a cupcake.  And go through a security line and report back.  In the update to Cupcake gate, a friend of mine appears on Fox and Friends (snark noted) because she dared to bring through a food item.  Look, before I get blasted by 394950 people about “it’s a new world” and “you are a fool”.  Back up to the start of the story: Rebecca brought through two cupcakes.  Both cleared Logan TSA (which flying out of Logan 10 or so times a year, I can say, there are post 9/11 screenings which are not found in other airports, two of the planes left from here).  Returning from Vega$, the one remaining was a “security threat”.  Ok, maybe the glass is questionable: wait, you can buy a Starbucks mug in airports.  Ok, maybe the ganache was more than 3oz (wait, the jar can fit into a Ziploc bag).  Ok, maybe the TSA policies are not clear enough? Bingo.  Don’t blame the agent: the guidelines are unclear (and if you don’t believe me, ask Rebecca, it was her cupcake and she has never slammed the agent).  Look, I cleared TSA in KC with the WRONG boarding pass (you know, that license and boarding pass check).  I was told by TSA that “happens all the time, but don’t worry, we still screen you” (um).  So, clearing TSA with the wrong boarding pass is OK, but damn, those cupcakes.

It’s a mad world people.  Thank God the Packers are still playing.  Cheese, Cookies and Cupcakes.  Perfect halftime snack.

Tags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Condo, LGBT, Politics, Popular Culture | Leave a Comment »

Dear Mr. Obama, Maybe You Should Look at Your Laws on LGBT Rights First.

December 7, 2011

A friend of mine posted The Presidential Memorandum — International Initiatives to Advance the Human Rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Persons that the White House released quietly yesterday.  In reading it, I could literally feel my eyes narrow and my anger build.  President Obama provided the following opening statements:

“That is why I declared before heads of state gathered at the United Nations, “no country should deny people their rights because of who they love, which is why we must stand up for the rights of gays and lesbians everywhere.”  Under my Administration, agencies engaged abroad have already begun taking action to promote the fundamental human rights of LGBT persons everywhere.  Our deep commitment to advancing the human rights of all people is strengthened when we as the United States bring our tools to bear to vigorously advance this goal.”

I had to read it several times: yes, the President of the United States stated “no country should deny people their rights because of who they love”.  President Obama is obviously heterosexual married: if he wasn’t he couldn’t even make that statement as a leader whose own federal government denies same-sex benefits to some Federal employees, denies Federal benefits of the US tax code to legally married gayl couples (since marriage is deemed a ‘state right’) and has done little to prevent the rampant state-legislation of DOMA.

Oh, wait, President Obama, ends his memo with this chilling note to the LGBT community:

“This memorandum is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.”

The ultra cynical side of me sees this (and I know since it’s a policy memo it’s a legal necessity) as a check mark: look at all the good things I’ve done for LGBT people, I can’t do anything else ::shrug:: I’ve got the Congress from hell.

I’ve never been a fan of any American president proclaiming to the world how other nations should act.  But this is a slap in my face that banks on the fact that the Republicans can’t nominate an equally tolerable candidate (I’m not an Obama fan) and there isn’t a real third-party option.  This is another example of Obama’s ‘safe position’ on anything.  Here are some facts about LGBT rights/protections in the United States:

1) There are no antidiscrimination laws for LGBT individuals. While crimes can be charged as a ‘hate crime’ under the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act of the 111th Congress, it is only an ancillary charge.  I can be turned down for a job for being gay: the application may say “xxx company doesn not discriminate against xyz” but there is not a federal law that protects me  in seeking employment from not being hired simply because I am gay.

2) One state allows conjugal visits for same-sex couples if one is in prison. One.  There is a LGBT caveat that the relationship had to exist prior to incarceration (heterosexual couples don’t have this same limitation).

According to the White House’s website, “President Obama also continues to support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and believes that our anti-discrimination employment laws should be expanded to include sexual orientation and gender identity. He supports full civil unions and federal rights for LGBT couples and opposes a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.”  But in the words of Elmer Fudd ”Be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits” (or Obama’s case, elephants).

Look, I get that Obama has done more for LGBT rights than any US president: the LGBT community to a great extent does a good job of forgetting Bill Clinton signed DOMA into law: the same DOMA that is now causing a myriad of legal protection issues.  I get that the economy should be the number one issue for President Obama.  What I don’t get, can’t get and probably never will is that the same man who has the gall to tell the world how to treat LGBT citizens in other sovereign nations will not make a public policy speech demanding those rights for his own citizens, extending same-sex benefits for *all* Federal employees and stating the basic premise of leadership: I cannot and will not ask another (in this case a nation) to do something that I, myself, am unwilling to do.

My vote isn’t tied to my sexual orientation: please don’t assume that it is Mr. Obama.  You are simply lucky that there isn’t a viable candidate from the other party.

Tags:, , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in LGBT, People, Politics | Leave a Comment »

An early thought (or 12) for National Coming Out Day

October 9, 2011

So, October 11th is 23rd “National Coming Out Day”.  For the record, I officially hate national anything days.  For those of you who really know me, I barely tolerate Christmas, Thanksgiving, or really any other holiday.  National Coming Out Day is one of those vexing days for me.  It’s a very uncomfortable day for me: I know there are people who are struggling to say “I’m gay” for the first time.  I know this is a day that can draw unwanted attention from various hate groups.  I know it’s a day that I’m not sure how to handle.

Coming out … ack. It’s such a process: there isn’t a guidebook or roadmap.  Coming out is terrifying.  I still can wind up in dry heaves just thinking about having to do that again.  It’s not like a person can come out and then have it be “over”.  I’ve found it to be an always going on process.  Start a new job? Sit next to somebody on a plane? Presumed straight.  Granted, I don’t exactly wrap myself in seat 12A and turn to the person next to me and say “Hi, I’m a left-handed lesbian who likes to travel and if you’d mind NOT opening your lap top during the flight, I’d be happy.”

If I had a wish for Coming Out Day (aside from there not being a need?).  It would be the following: educating people on what to say when somebody tells you s/he is gay.  When I think about some of the responses … see my comments about dry heaving.  Coming out affixes a label.  For good or for bad, everybody has ascribed meaning to the label.  (I still laugh when somebody once commented to me, you don’t know how to change your car oil? But you are a lesbian!).  So for good or for bad here are some things (maybe slightly altered to protect the individual who said it) that were told to me:

1) “Wow, this comes as a surprise.”  Ok, look, the person who just told you s/he is gay has just shared a deeply held “secret”.  Are you affirming that keeping it a secret is good? Or that s/he has hidden self-identity? (Keep in mind, many LGBT people think “people don’t know the real me (and thus wouldn’t like me)” while making the decision to come out.

2) “It’s ok.” Um. Yeah.  What’s ok? That I’m standing and admitting everything I tried to be was a sham and I lived in secrecy? Or that it’s ok to be gay?

3) “I love you anyway.”

4) “It’s not a big deal.”  I get this one: what a person is saying is that it doesn’t change anything.  Here is the issue: for the person coming out, every person that s/he choses to tell is a risk.  Maybe not of physical violence but the end of a friendship, a change in the relationship.

Coming out is a big deal: not in the flag waving, hand clapping sort of way that drives me bonkers.  When somebody comes out to an other person (gay or straight), things change.  Friendships can change.  People who were thought to be allies might drift away: people who you fear loosing might help the person coming out more than imaginable.

Gay, straight if somebody choses to come out to you, s/he has placed an enormous amount of trust in you.  It’s a struggle on both ends (especially among close friends and family).  The first few times somebody forms the words it is painful.  Later on, it’s a matter of risk (see an earlier blog about being forced out in the work place).  But if you are lucky enough to have somebody come out to you, the best response is simply the gift of your presence with the simple words of “Thank-you.  Do you need to talk?”.  And those of us who are out, need to remember the struggle to find the words – and try to find ways to uphold those who are struggling to find their voices.  And to those of you coming out: It’s hard. It hurts.  And never discount your friends based on what you think they believe.

Tags:, , , , , , ,
Posted in LGBT, People, Reflections | Leave a Comment »

Until the day this won’t be news, thank you.

May 16, 2011

A few years ago, I was forced to ‘out’ myself in the workplace.  Another individual screamed that she wanted a “gay” day where she could do nothing but hang out with her gay friends.  Her screeching voice which carried quite a distance in a public setting left me more than a bit uncomfortable as she continued to netter on about how “the gays” were fabulous and she needed more “gay time”.  She continued to promote stereotypes, behaviors and other annoying myths that I came within inches of shouting at her.  Fortunately, the rarely working brain filter caught my words and I spoke my boss the next day.  My supervisor informed me this was acceptable in the work place because the screecher has gay friends.  I asked if it would be ok for me to publically demand a Jewish day because I liked their food and advice? (Also knowing full well the screecher was Jewish).  I was told that would be offensive.  I countered with my statement of “I’m gay, and I found her to be offensive.”  At which point, I was told “I needed to have a thicker skin.”  Let me be clear: this wasn’t a dream job, it was a (barely a paycheck) job.  While I really wasn’t looking for an “oh, I see your point, let me address this with her” type reaction, I certainly wasn’t looking for a “you have to be tougher”.  I wasn’t allowed to be offended by myth promoting (nor was I apparently allowed to promote myths, but that is a different blog).

When you first come out, and really before you do, every homophobic comment feels intentional, as if the person saying it knows your secret and is baiting you into a response.  Coming out generally isn’t celebrated.  Almost every gay person I know has a painful story of loss of somebody in his/her life who decided to alter or end a friendship, lost a job, were excluded from family functions (or given conditions for inclusion) and on and on.  Forming the words for the first time is a gut wrenching, life altering admission to self.  Sharing with others is painful at first.  A friend told me once that ‘being gay is exhausting.’ Meh.  I think being a human in the 21st century is exhausting (or maybe it’s just adulthood when I have a well documented preference for being a kid).  I will grant there is something about that extra layer, people who don’t know fall into a few categories: not sure how they will react, have power (ie, employer) over a person or really, it has never come up in conversation and for me anyway, it isn’t important to the relationship.

Over the weekend, I saw that the Phoenix Suns CEO announced he is gay.  Rick Welts discussed his intentions of announcing his sexual orientation with key executives, players and others before making his announcement.  ESPN reports that Welts met with David Stern the day before Kobe Byrant’s gay bashing tirade.  Quickly going through a list of owners, presidents and managers of men’s sports, I think Welts is the first to come out.  Today, NPR published an article with CNN weekend anchor Don Lemon and his decision to come out.  Lemon points out, rather accurately, that many consider this ‘career suicide’.  I hope not.  I also hope that he doesn’t become the ‘gay’ CNN anchor.

Rick Welts helped this weekend to break down the door for those who work in sports, at all levels be it an athlete or in the front office.  Don Lemon held open the door for those who are African-Americans or working in the news industry.  Sadly, this is still news.  But until the day it isn’t, thank you.  For showing others that you can be gay, you can be successful and you can be admired by your peers for the work you do.  It’s just a few more cracks in that other glass ceiling.

Tags:, , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in LGBT, People, Politics, Reflections | 3 Comments »

No Baby? No Problem!

April 2, 2011

Usually, it takes me until my first cup of coffee is finished to be completely offended. Today, it took exactly the length of time to read the following 2 paragraphs:

“Women are programmed to be caregivers and nurturers. Give my girls a couple of dolls, and one will be the mom the other will be the daughter, frequently disregarding the obvious gender of the doll. Before a woman becomes a mother, she will coo over her friend’s newborn; and in that lilting, high-pitched voice say, “Oh, I want one.”

 Give a boy child a couple of dolls, and they are liable to decapitate, dismember, or bury it. Prior to fatherhood, most men dread a baby. Responses I have heard include “It smells”, “It’s noisy”, and “Don’t hand it to me. I’ll drop it and break it.” Men are programmed with single-syllabic functions that run along the lines of “hunt, kill, eat, mate, sleep.”  Their responses are biologically simple.”

Seriously? I’d like to sweep the comments under the musings of an uneducated Neolithic person. Unfortunately, I attended college with the writer.  In full as much disclosure as I want over the internet, I will say I attended Hollins College (now university) which is a women’s university (ok, that sounds dumb, another reason I’m still against the name change) in Virginia.  Funnier yet? The last time I spoke with the writer, she was on this “empowered female” tirade. One more time: we do not get equality by belittlement. 

Normally, I’d smile and nod at something this horrifically stupid but I am SO OVER my “fulfillment” as a woman needing to include a child, that a man cannot be more pro-child than a woman, and this feckless idea that all women coo that I might just scream. Literally.

Let me be clear: I’ve NEVER wanted a child. I would not be a good parent, I don’t particularly care for the newborn of the species and I really only like kids once they are interactive. In a now infamous moment, I once tried to bribe my then 4 month old niece into taking a bottle by offering her a horse, a car and a college education: to quote my sister “only my sister would try to bribe an infant”.

The writer continues, “He [brother in law] devoted himself to them with the haphazard parenting that men excel at: half dangerous, half clueless, and frequently mitigated by my sister without him being aware of it. “ REALLY? Men cannot be responsible parents? Can only parent when subjugated to the manipulations of a woman and are too stupid to realize it?

I am simply stunned that in 2010, a woman stoops to such a level as to belittle men. I know gay male couples who joyously embrace parenting – or is that a façade? I know people of different ethnicities, sexual orientations, socio-economic status who do or do not want to parent. It has never been as simple as “It is because person X is a male/female”.  Nobody should be forced to parent when they do not want to: we know how to prevent pregnancy. A couple is as complete without a child by choice as one is who makes the choice to have a child. A child cannot complete a couple and to think so is dangerous. Marriages are hard enough before you add the strains of parenting. Having a child to “save” a marriage is as brilliant of an idea as well, mixing gasoline and a match. 

My 5 year old nephew asked for a baby sister for his birthday. But I suppose that shouldn’t count: his father is an amazing parent as is his uncle.   And neither of those two acts in a “half-clueless” manner; and neither are manipulated into parenting by their wives.  I wish the writer was so enlightened.

There are times after having fun with my nieces and nephews; I float the “what if” but it is quickly quashed: it is the remarkable co-parenting by my siblings and their spouses that gave me wonderfully inquisitive, interactive nieces and nephews.  I know I do not posses that skill set. I know that I do not want to parent. I was the girl that gave her sister the dolls and found a baseball instead. I am insulted – by extension – that there must be something wrong with me for not wanting a child.

 My only hope is that since the posting was on 4/1 it was an attempt to be a “funny” April Fool’s Day posting. But then again, if an idea of humor is by minimization of another, well, that is not funny either.

Tags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in People, Popular Culture, Reflections | Leave a Comment »

Pepsi Refresh: A good idea ruined by the masses.

January 8, 2011

I used to belong to a group called Pandora’s Project. They are working for a 25K grant in the Pepsi Refresh Challenge.  I’m now over the top livid with their bashing of other organizations they are competing against. From www.pandys.org:

“We are setting out on month number three of the Pepsi Refresh Project grant contest and want this to be our last month. We need your help to get us there! It’s been amazing to see so many members voting for us and then going out to vote for other projects and spreading the word about ours! We’ve gotten as low as #24, just 14 places away from being in the money. We CAN do this! If everyone who logs into this board to access support this month takes the time to vote once a day, every day, there will be no stopping us.

If we win, we’ll want to give a BIG THANK YOU to everyone for supporting us, so we’ve decided that we’ll have a raffle if we do! We’ll be raffling off 1% of our earnings – $250 in the form of various prizes as well as Pandora’s Project products! Prizes will include:

  • A grand prize $200 Amazon gift card, Pandora’s Project tote and a whistle
  • 5 runner-up prizes of a $10 Amazon gift card, a Pandora’s Project tote and a whistle


How do I enter?

Entering is easy and you can do so up to ten times a day. To enter, simply vote for Pandy’s and our partners, leaving comments.

http://pep.si/pandorasalliance

Change: Since leaving comments is time consuming, it is fine to vote for all of our partners multiple time and then leave a message that states “3 votes from Pandora’s Project!”

Sample Comments:Pandora’s Project just left you a vote! Please support our all-volunteer organization as we help assault survivors by voting and texting 103598 to 73774.

3 votes from Pandora’s Project! Please vote for us so our all-volunteer organization can support survivors of sexual violence! 103598 to 73774.

Pandora’s Project just supported you with 5 real votes! Please vote back so our volunteer-run organization can help abuse survivors. 103598 to 73774.

3 votes from your partners at Pandora’s Project! Please help our all-volunteer organization support survivors of sexual violence all over the world. 103598

You can also enter by

  • posting to your FB page asking friends to vote
  • posting to Twitter asking followers to vote
  • emailing your friends and family members asking them to vote
  • passing out flyers (Coming Soon!) to classmates, friends, etc…or posting them in visible places on your campus or around town


Floater VotesIf you have more than 3 accounts, please consider using one account to as a floater voter and vote for one of the following projects that has been supporting us.

These folks support us with their votes. Please comment to them.

http://pep.si/pandorasfriends

Sample Comment:Pandora’s Project dropping off votes! Thanks for supporting our all-volunteer organization as we serve survivors of sexual violence. 103598

And here are some other projects that support us!

http://www.refreshev…hingvikingsband
http://www.refreshev…childrenbookdvd
http://www.refreshev…ingdisabledvets
http://www.refreshev…starzfoundation
http://www.refreshev…artsinnewbernnc
http://www.refreshev…/camplowcountry
http://www.refreshev…om/sunsetcinema
http://www.refreshev…ng.com/starcise
http://www.refreshev…/camplowcountry
http://www.refreshev…firerescuehouse
http://www.refreshev…starzfoundation
http://www.refreshev…/kaleidoscopetr
http://www.refreshev…g.com/soarstory

Possible Comments:

Pandora’s Project dropping off votes for our friends! Please support our all volunteer organization so we can reach more survivors of sexual violence! 103598

Real votes from Pandora’s Project! Thanks for your support of survivors of sexual violence, our all volunteer organization appreciates it!

Why should I vote?
Pandora’s Project is dedicated to providing survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones with low cost access to high quality support, information, and resources. If we win, we will be able to host approximately 50 survivors at free or low cost retreats. Furthermore, we’ll have a $5,000 budget for chats. This will allow us to host chats with seriously notable speakers (Judith Hermann, anyone? How about Aphrodite Mataskis? Maybe Francine Shapiro, developer of EMDR?) Perhaps more importantly, we’ll be able to take suggestions and host chats on more specific topics, like SI, EDs, BDSM (that’s a lot of acronyms) for smaller audiences, which is something that we’ve been reluctant to do thus far for budgetary reasons. This money will also allow us to put projects that we’ve had on the table into motion, too, because our retreat funding will be secure.

Many people will benefit from winning this money, but above all, this will allow us to reserve funds for programs that are in development and will bring survivors new and innovative resources. Although we are all in different stages in our healing, everyone here has been impacted by sexual violence. We all know the pain that it brings and the difference that support can make in the healing process. Please take the time to vote today and every day in January.

Jes

UPDATE – 1/6/2011
WOW!!!! We have a lot to be proud of with a ranking of 11! We’ve been voting like maniacs – I have personally voted around 15-20 times a day and even have a spreadsheet on graph paper with all of my accounts so I can be sure I’ve used each vote and left appropriate comments and I know others are voting just as feverishly. Whether you’ve cast one vote or 20 per day, THANK YOU! Just a few clicks can make a difference.

A few updates:

I want to warn people not to vote for these projects:

Progressive Slate – DO NOT VOTE!

Although the LGBT projects look great, this group, the Progressive Slate, is very strong and also politically oriented. They won’t return votes.

Please do try to float a few votes here and there. I know it is harder, but it is a very effective way for us to garner votes – sometimes one vote can equal 5 or even 10 in return. I’ll be updating our list regularly. If you see anyone I’m missing, please do let me know and I will add them in there.

Again, THANK YOU for voting. We’re in for a wild month, but we have a very good chance of success if we all work together. I’m super excited about our placement and hope you are too!

Jes”

Really? Using grant money to bribe people to vote? Telling them who not to vote for? For the record the “Progressive Slate” is not backed by a political party: just a group that has organized alliances and voting to get good projects money. They haven’t gone around attacking people calling their projects “fronts” or linking them to a political party.

Here is a hint: if you want people to vote for your organization, cause or your candidacy, tell them WHY not by slamming others. Either on your organization’s web page or on the Pepsi Refresh page. Find causes you support and vote for them. Vote from YOUR heart – not because somebody told you to: OR because somebody told you not to. For me? This month, I’m voting for LGBT causes. Why? Because the amount of bullying, shame and lack of equity in my community. I would have tossed a vote to Pandora’s Project. But not anymore. You lost my vote. Because you slammed others.

Tags:, , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Politics, Popular Culture, Reflections | 1 Comment »

What happens when the bully grows up?

October 18, 2010

I’ve been wrestling with the recent attention to bullying among the tweener/adolescent set. I am mostly stunned at this idea of it being a “new” thing. I’ve long-held the idea that junior high/middle school is sanctified torture – and yes, I mean torture. I feel that when there is a convergence of hormones, an emphasis in the classroom to pass standardized tests (never mind educators know about multiple intelligences and learning styles, the system has forced teachers to ignore that and teach to bubble answers) and the meta message of what is “good”.

I find it upsetting that we send a mixed message of valuing individualism and finding a “better” way to do things versus how we educate.  We send a message (intentionally or not) that if something is “different” it is wrong. The correct answer is “C” or “True” or “47″. What would happen if we tossed out standardized tests and let educators educate? And paid them to match their professional skills? I think that would help with the bullying because no longer there would be one approved path.

I know that doesn’t have much to do with the struggles of LGBT individuals. But bullying is not limited to sexual orientation: anybody who is different or perceived to be different stands the risk of being bullied. I know from personal experience that the scars of bullying really don’t go away.

I remember being spit on, having my crutches kicked out from under me, being taunted for being “different”. And equally, I remember teachers and administrators telling me not to show emotion because that is what “they (the bullies) wanted. I was eleven. It was a few decades ago.

It didn’t make sense to me then. And it doesn’t make sense to me now. The adults did nothing: the adults through their silence condoned the bullying. I wonder about those who did that to me then. I wonder how they parent and address bullying. I wonder if they even remember what they did to me.

I know what it did to me: and I wouldn’t wish it on one of their children.

Tags:, , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Politics, Popular Culture, Reflections | Leave a Comment »

Why it’s for all of us. . .

October 11, 2010

So, today is National Coming Out Day. According to all things Wiki, I’m supposed to be wearing a triangle, rainbow jewelry and letter Lambda. Seriously? While I get the point, wearing things accomplishes as much as say creating a Facebook page to end world hunger.

I generally stay away from most things like “National Day to start/end/facilitate fill in the blank”. Quite frankly, they are not effective from a political/marketing stand point. This year, it seems much more important. Not from a gay perspective: but from a national perspective.

The collective ‘we’ has lost the ‘us’ tense of the word so that the Republican Party candidate for Governor of NY, Carl Paladino, can make absurd sexist, homophobic statements without being called out.

In his own words “I just think my children and your children would be better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family.”

He is running for governor in a state that has just seen one of the worst hate crimes of the year: 8 people now arrested for beating men as a gang initiation because their victims are gay.

Where are the leaders of his party and other leaders in decrying:

“A ring on your finger doesn’t make you happy or successful. It just means you are married.”

“Defining people by constructs only furthers the divide present in our country. It doesn’t heal our wounds, move us forward or solve problems.”

“We are people beating, killing, torturing others for being “different”. That is not ok and will not be tolerated at any level.”

Where are those leaders? We are all somebody elses “other”. National Coming Out Day is supposed to be about the LGBT community and allies saying it’s ok to be gay. We shouldn’t need that permission.

We don’t need a day, a month, a year. We (all of us) need tolerance. We all need the same things: food, shelter, love.  We need to put down our armor: and we all have armor. All of us. Nobody is to blame and everybody is to blame.

When as an individual, I choose to assist in perpetuating a myth, I continue the destructive cycle. When I choose to say “not now, not ever” I break the cycle.

We can disagree and be friends. We must be civil to each other: our differences are our strengths. It’s how we challenge our thoughts, perceptions and relate to the world around us.

Today is a day for everybody. It is the day for removing the labels and seeing people for who they are: us.

 

Tags:, , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Politics, Popular Culture, Reflections | Leave a Comment »

Not better…just different

October 11, 2010

The “things get better” viral outbreak on YouTube is driving me nuts. Not because of the genuine feelings expressed by so many people regarding LGBTQ youth/young adults and the struggle to come out: I appreciate that aspect of the postings. 

It’s the fallacy of the “things get better” that annoys me to no end: my take, they just get different. We live in a homophobic culture where stereotypes are reinforced from advertisements to television shows to linguistics. It doesn’t get easier regarding the hate, the violence, we learn to adapt and how to hide when needed. We live in a society where people DEBATE over our basic civil rights. Where members of the LGBT community need papers showing power of attorney, etc if they leave a state that allows marriage for another one, a country where in some states it is ILLEGAL to adopt if you are gay. It doesn’t get easier. Like life, over all, it just gets different.

It becomes easier as an individual accepts his/her sexual orientation. It becomes easier as people you love re-accept you. But it doesn’t get better in the binary sense. It’s still hard. And it still hurts when people can’t see past constructs to the person. That is what I’d like to see: it’s hard, we are here for you and together we will break down the stereotypes. Why? Because maybe then it will get easier for the next person. And maybe people will stop dying simply because of their sexual orientation.

Tags:, , , , , , , ,
Posted in Politics, Reflections | Leave a Comment »

Newer Entries »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 142 other followers