Archive for the ‘Reflections’ Category
May 1, 2013
Along Boylston
Make shift Memorial at Copley.
Also at Copley.
Re-glassing of Marathon Sports.
For the first time since the marathon, I had to be in the Copley area. I snagged a few pictures. I’ve always thought that make shift memorials were weird. As I wandered around the one that has sprung up on the Boylston side of Copley, looking at random pictures, quotes, I understood. New Englanders in general don’t show a lot of emotion. There were tears shed. The ever-present car horns that are Boston were absent, nary a Duck Boat in site and the street musicians were absent. Copley has changed. We are still struggling. We need the satellite trucks gone. Our farmer’s market needs to open on time. We will heal. We are changed. But we are #oneboston.
I’ve lived here longer than anyplace aside from my native Chicago. I’m proud to call Boston home. And our city will only be better. Because, to quote the incident commander, “It’s what we do. We are better than them.” We are #bostonstrong.
Tags:#bostonstrong, #oneboston, 4/15/2013, anger, Boston, Copley Square, diversity, healing, local business, marathon, musings, people, Random, Reflections, religion, social media, tolerance
Posted in People, Politics, Popular Culture, Reflections, Sports | 1 Comment »
January 13, 2013
I’m lucky: I live in a state that grants equal rights to all citizens. You know, that little tiny one that has a host of legal benefits called “marriage”. There is an organization that is working in the south try change the laws so that all citizens have the right to marry the person they love. The Campaign for Southern Equality is working to raise awareness, change the laws and bring equality to citizens in one of the most hostile regions of the country.
I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it a thousand more: I don’t care what your religious doctrine says about gay marriage. I truly don’t. My religion, church and congregation affirm marriage of all couples (and was one of the first in the nation to do so). It’s welcoming in the definition of the world welcoming: not the hip/trendy we are for gay rights that seems to permeate many congregations. I really, really, really don’t care what your interpretation of God is when it comes to my rights (but, unless you are willing to live by the entire literal teaching of The Bible, I’m also not interested in a discussion with you on the subject.
About this time every year, I become angry as I’m reminded I’m not a full citizen in the eyes of my government. I find it odd since apparently I qualify as a “Daughter of the American Revolution” (yeah, something about leaving Massachusetts for Ohio in the 18th century) and have some indigenous heritage as well (talk about not having the energy for apologist history). Every year when I complete my Massachusetts return, I’m reminded how in the eyes of the federal government, I don’t have the same rights. I don’t have the right to survivor benefits (Sally Ride’s wife doesn’t; Neil Armstrong’s wife does), I am not automatically given the right to make medical decisions for my spouse, don’t even go there with what can happen to inheritance issues in states that don’t recognize marital equality.
I’ll never understand how anybody can think my (non-existent) marriage can be a detriment to their marriages. This is civil rights: this is the equality of all citizens.
Tomorrow, two friends of mine will apply to have their legally obtained marriage license registered in the state of their current residence. It will be denied. They know it will. It won’t make it hurt less. It doesn’t make it less wrong. All it means is that in the 21st century, two people who I’m honored to call friends will be denied the rights that straight people take for granted. They both hold advanced degrees; they both work for justice. One likes basketball, one likes the Oscar Ceremonies the point of obsession. They are both normal women who love each other. And tomorrow, in the land of the ‘free’, they will be told and all of us who love them will be reminded of how they are oppressed by the state they live in and by the federal government. Yes, we’ve come a long way in under a decade, but we have so further to go. And until then, people like my friends will be told to their faces “their kind” (my kind) isn’t welcome in our country. And that is nothing short of shameful.
Tags:anger, Civil Rights, equal right, gay rights, lgbt, Marriage, marriage equality, musings, North Carolina, opression, Reflections, religion, same-sex marriage, shame, social justice, The Campaign for Southern Equality, things that aren't common sense but should be
Posted in LGBT, Politics, Reflections, Religion | Leave a Comment »
December 31, 2012
Some will take 5 minutes, some a few months. . . . just a list of random things I thought I’d try to do in 2013.
1) Polar Bear Plunge
2) Read 50 Shades of Gray
3) Read Team of Rivals
4) Read In the Garden of Beasts
5) Read Fall of Giants
6) Read The Great Influenza
7) Read Book #6 (Title: TBD)
8) Read Book #7 (Title: TBD)
9) Read Book #8 (Title: TBD)
10) Read Book #9 (Title: TBD)
11) Read Book #10 (Title: TBD)
12) Read Book #11 (Title TBD)
13) Read Book #12 (Title TBD)
14) Participate in the SNAP challenge (one week, $25 all 7 days)
15) Run a 5K
16) Write a letter instead of shooting a long email
17) Walk the Freedom Trail
18) Go to a Red Sox/Yankees game
19) Participate in the USPS 3K challenge
20) Unplug from social media for a week.
21) Walk, run, jog 500 miles (I mean, I’ve got a YEAR)
22) Go to Walden Pond. (Such a bad local tourist)
23) Get over my fear of needles and go to the dentist
24) Take a yoga class
25) Volunteer 50 hours
26) Go to Northern California
27) Go to New Orleans
28) Go to Puerto Rico
29) Learn to cook tamales
30) Make an intentional collage
31) Go vegetarian for a week
32) Menu plan for a week . . . and follow it!
33) Bike 1000 miles (see the I’ve got a year note)
34) Walk away from an argument
35) Work a 44 hour week
36) Make sure all that dang adult paperwork is taken care of
37) Pay off the remaining credit card debt
38) Go to the MFA once a month
39) Go to NYC just to go to MOOD!
40) Walk the Freedom Trail
41) Prehab my shoulder in an attempt to avoid surgery
42) Organize guest room
43) Organize kitchen
44) Find new homes for orphaned socks.
45) Start to learn Spanish.
46) Finish my holiday shopping by October.
47) Hollins Hanukah II
48) Journal more
49) Sending my 2012 Christmas cards by oh, St. Patrick’s Day.
50) Go fall camping
51) Take a fun class at one of the zillion extension centers
52) Try to be more zen.
Tags:2013, food, fun, health, Kitchen, musings, New Year's Resolution, organization, personal responsiblity, Random, reading, Reflections, resolutions, social justice, social media
Posted in Popular Culture, Reflections | 3 Comments »
September 13, 2012
I am not going to pretend to be unbiased regarding this situation. I have stated my disgust in more private forms of social media for about a year. Much of the facts are shrouded in the silence that comes with a cover-up, a disgrace and most of all an attempt to preserve a reputation of what was national and is now mostly regional mid-tier academic institution.
What I know is that last fall; Dr. Mark S. Burrows was dismissed from Andover-Newton Theological School. In a letter dated on 10/21/2011 from school president, Rev. Nick Carter, it was stated that Dr. Burrows was dismissed for “due to unprofessional, unethical and immoral behavior involving failure to maintain professional boundaries with students.” As an alumna, I did not receive the letter sent to the Andover Newton Community and “close friends”; I received several copies via e-mail from alumni/alumnae.
At the close of the letter, Rev. Carter asks that “you appreciate the sensitivity of this and limit what you say to others.”
Here is the response I should have sent last year:
Go to hell. Rev. Carter is asking for silence to save the reputation of the professor involved and the institution that employed him for many years. Rev. Carter, instead of using this as an opportunity to say that the reasons for Dr. Burrows’ termination were wholly unacceptable in a public manner (asking community for silence is something that has been vilified by criticizers of Penn State, the Roman Catholic Church and other organizations that have dealt with “immoral behavior” issues.) At the time, or shortly before, Dr. Burrows was Rev. Dr. Burrows. He is no longer an ordained minister according to his personal web site. He has accepted another teaching position in Germany to begin in 2013 (his wife is German). Does this institution know of the reasons behind Dr. Burrows’ dismissal? Or has the wider community of Andover-Newton (this author included) conspired in duplicitous behavior to save an institution?
ANTS is just as much as an institution as Penn State Football. Is there a difference between “immoral behavior” between adults and children: perhaps. The underlying tenant is the same: a person in power (real or perceived) demanded something causing harm to another. The difference is in the legal aspect: ANTS did not break a law, some at PSU did.
Rev. Carter and ANTS did not use this as an opportunity to have open and real discussions on the abuse of power, the damage to the reputation this can cause. Instead, they swept the matter under the rug. Any institution that has faced a situation (a family, an organization, a football program or a university) often gives the first response of “I had no idea”. This is not an act solely out of ignorance: but lack of awareness, lack of a safe environment for discussions without fear of retribution and the inherent power dynamic that tends to present itself in all structures.
Instead of saying “what can we learn, how can we educate ourselves as supposed moral/ethical/religious leaders”, the president of the nation’s oldest theological school, Rev. Nick Carter, requested silence.
The time for silence surrounding the abuse of power is long gone. If an organization wants to be a leader, wants to mold leaders, wants to demonstrate how to answer the hard questions, then speaking up is the action: not a plea for silence.
I know I will offend people with this: I don’t care. Read that again: I don’t care. I am embarrassed by my actions of a year ago: I should have spoken up then. I am embarrassed to hold a degree from this institution that publically touts itself as liberal and forward thinking, but in one of its darkest hours returned to the traditional response of get the offender out the door and ask for silence to preserve the institution.
Tags:abuse of power, Andover Newton Theological School, anger, ANTS, dismissal, Dr. Mark Burrows, immoral, leadership, Mark Burrows, musings, Nick Carter, people, personal responsiblity, Random, Reflections, religion, Rev. Nick Carter, scandal, seminary, social media, theology, things that aren't common sense but should be, tolerance
Posted in Lent, People, Reflections | Leave a Comment »
July 23, 2012
I grew up in Big Ten country (long before PSU became a member!): there were coaches that even the most die-hard Buckeye fans had to offer up (begrudging) respect. Joe Paterno was one of them. He ran a clean program. He stood for what college athletics is about: winning with class. Yes, he should have retired about 15 years ago but he was JoePa as iconic to Happy Valley as John Wooden was to UCLA. This past year we just didn’t learn there wasn’t Santa: we learned that Santa stole from our best friend to give to our most despised enemy. I know, in part, that is why it hurts. We didn’t want to believe that one of the greater than life legends of college athletics knowingly covered up the sexual abuse of children. We wanted to believe one of his last interviews with Sally Jenkins that he didn’t know what was going on. The emails, the notes when they became public weren’t so much stunning revelations as much as confirmations of what we didn’t want to believe.
As the NCAA fast tracked the investigation process, rumors swirled about the death penalty. A part of me wanted PSU to receive a total death penalty (with scholarships honored) for all sports, Paterno set the culture at PSU. PSU has a history of discrimination in athletics (case and point, Renee Portland). A larger part of me realized that the death penalty for PSU football beyond punishing the players who were not on campus at the time of the coverup, punished the wider community. The local economy depends on football season: State College is a town of roughly 42,000 people: the football stadium houses 106,000 people. The tax revenue alone probably funds a majority of the local government budget. The restaurants, bars, stores, the minimum wage workers all suffer the most with a death penalty.
Is 60 million dollars enough: I’m not sure. The football revenue in 2010 was 52 million dollars. Football, in part, funds non-revenue sports (and scholarships). Is it a good move that the money will be placed into a trust not to be used by the university but administered to assist and raise awareness of the childhood sexual abuse. The NCAA is allowing all current players (including freshman) to transfer without penalty. The huge scholarship limits over the next four years will force PSU into massive rebuilding. The additional sanctions by the Big 10 in not allowing revenue sharing from bowl games will be an additional reminder.
The NCAA penalty “lack of institutional control” has been seen as laughable. Before, it would mean an extra year of probation or maybe an additional scholarship. The NCAA spoke loud and clear today: even though an NCAA violation did not occur (really), the NCAA acted in a manner which will serve as a reminder for years to come. While those in Happy Valley will mourn what was: maybe they will (eventually) see that just like Santa, Paterno’s legend was mythical. He was a flawed man who made a horrible mistakes. As the leader of the organization, even in his death, his corporation must be punished. They will suit up in Happy Valley this fall. They will play for the love of the sport. And at the end of the day, maybe, just maybe more individuals will have the courage to come forward and speak up about corporate corruption, harm to children and issues which need to be voiced.
If any good is to come out of this tragedy, may it be that if you and three of your friends go out for drinks, one of you was probably abused as a child. It’s time we start to have that conversation and build resources to help survivors heal. There will always be pedophiles. When the shame of being a victim is one begins to lessen through education, awareness and action that we can learn from because of Penn State, only then can we say we learned a lesson from Sandusky and Paterno.
Tags:Big 10, football, musings, ncaa, paterno, Penn State, personal responsiblity, PSU, Reflections, sandusky, sexual abuse, social justice, things that aren't common sense but should be, violence
Posted in People, Politics, Reflections, Sports | Leave a Comment »
May 26, 2012
There is a passage in Acts that describes a gathering of individuals (hardly even the ultra-early church) where individuals spoke in his/her native language and was understood by the recipient in his/her native language (think text predictor gone right). I’ve been to enough church services on enough continents to pick out some of the more ritual aspects of the services (some always confuse me: The Apostles Creed descending to hell or not, trespass/debts/sin variations on the Lord’s Prayer) that I can intellectually understand that passage to mean an understanding due to ritual, body language and common ideals. Of course, I’m always bemused by Peter saying people aren’t drunk because it’s 9:00 am, clearly, the man had never tailgated in the SEC/Big 10 areas of the world: especially when it’s coupled with the German peasant phrase popularized by Goethe of strawberries by Pentecost mean a good wine crop. (Note, there were ripe strawberries at the farmers market today in the Boston ‘burbs so I’m thinking it’s going to be a good wine crop. . . ).
As I drove around today making stops at various farmers markets, I couldn’t help but notice all the flags flying at half-mast (an oddly enduring Massachusetts tradition) and think about Memorial Day in the context of those gathered during the first Pentecost and wondering what we would collectively say to each other if what we were saying would be understood. It would probably come very close to what has landed Cory Booker in hot water for saying what many of us believe: as Andrew Rosenthal wrote in a recent New York Times op-ed
“Cory Booker, the young, dynamic and often unpredictable mayor of Newark, got himself into hot water over the weekend by likening Republican attacks on President Obama’s former relationship with Jeremiah Wright to Democratic attacks on private equity. “This kind of stuff is nauseating to me on both sides,” he said on “Meet the Press.” “It’s nauseating to the American public.”
He also touted the president’s pro-business record (“over 90% of Americans have seen tax cuts under this president”), and said that Mitt Romney “would have let the auto industry fail,” but the media focused on his apparent defense of Mr. Romney’s work at Bain Capital. “I know I live in a state where pension funds, unions and other people are investing in companies like Bain Capital. If you look at the totality of Bain Capital’s record they’ve done a lot to support businesses, to grow businesses.”
The sad thing? Booker has spent the week apologizing for his comments. Booker spoke in a language everybody – right, left, center – understood. We are tired of the finger pointing, hatred, vilification of opposition. Discuss your plans, the concrete ones and how you are going to pay for them. Show us how you will improve our systems. If the only way you can win is by trashing your opponents, you aren’t worthy of the position. Booker is right, it is nauseating. We as a country are better than this: and when an individual feels he has to apologize for heartfelt, probably dead on accurate comments, there is one thing I’m pretty certain of: we all agreed on the message from Mr. Booker, it just hit some on the campaign trail a bit too close to home.
Tags:anger, bain capital, cory booker, democrats, election, election nonsense, musings, Obama, people, politics, Random, Reflections, religion, republicans, Romney, social media, things that aren't common sense but should be, tolerance
Posted in People, Politics, Popular Culture, Reflections, Religion | Leave a Comment »
May 13, 2012
Long week. Long, long, long week. A week ago, Joe Biden makes a statement being for marriage equality on Meet the Press. Monday, North Carolina voters re-affirm homophobia and stereotypes. The next day, Mitt Romney is outed as a boarding school bully and Obama announces he supports same sex marriage.
Let the debates begin.
One of my friends wrote a lovely note about why LBGT people couldn’t expect Obama to come out for gay marriage due to the risk of loosing an election. Ok, that became a bit moot later in the day but I wonder? Will this cost Obama the election? I hope not.
I’m tired of being politicized. I’m tired of who I love being news. I’m tired of people who probably eat pork, shellfish, wear mixed fabrics and have probably never studied any religion outside of the four walls of their chosen faith have decided I’m an abomination. I’ve said it over and over, until somebody can explain to me why my marriage, my personal life can explain to me why/how it is a threat to their marriage, personal life without using religious language, I’m not interested in listening. It’s fear. Of course, if I had a marriage, it might be a bit more personal – right now, it’s a construct argument.
I wanted to feel elation when the president said he was for gay marriage. Instead, it immediately became a political debate. Did he do this for the ‘gay vote’? What votes will it cost him? I’m not stupid, it’s an election year. And in Washington, everything is about the next election. I had to explain to somebody all of the federal benefits of marriage: not just the obvious IRS tax code ones. The marrying a foreign national, the Social Security death benefits and on and on. I wanted somebody in the GOP to finally stand up and say, you know what? It doesn’t matter what happens between two consenting adults. I didn’t want to hear pundits bash gay conservatives. Sexual orientation and religion don’t belong in politics. I don’t feel threatened by my straight conservative friends heterosexual marriages and I’m going to guess they don’t feel threatened by my personal life.
Then we hear about Romney the boarding school bully. Just what we need. How can you forget if you cut off a classmates hair? Having been subject to some lovely junior high/high school bullying, I remember who spit on my face. I don’t know if they remember: I’d like to think they do. Of course the student involved was closeted. Of course.
Last Sunday, I thought maybe we can have a civil discussion about what it is like to be gay in this country, and how much it hurts. By the end of the week, I wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep. It’s been an exhausting week. It always is when people get to vote on your rights: and even when the president offers you an olive branch, it still hurts.
The road to equality is long and painful. I prefer knowing my enemies. I applaud Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden for their public change in position. In a few years, hopefully this will be viewed as a moment like President Johnson’s introduction of the Civil Rights Act. Courage isn’t often loud: courage is standing up for your beliefs when you have something to lose. Maybe that is what I needed to hear all week: not Romney the bully, the political gains/losses or did Biden force Obama’s hand. What I needed to hear was that when all is said and done, hopefully Obama and Biden will be remembered for standing up for what is right when it could cost them their jobs. And that type of courage should always be celebrated.
Tags:Amendment One, GOP, human rights, Joe Biden, lgbt, marriage equality, North Carolina, Obama, politics, Romney, same-sex marriage, social justice
Posted in LGBT, People, Politics, Reflections | Leave a Comment »
May 4, 2012
Most of the time, state ballot intaitives amuse me: should we repeal a liquor tax? What about letting people smoke pot in public? I tend to think of it is the great political revenge of letting voices be heard on some entertaining issues.
Not so next week in North Carolina. Next week voters in North Carolina are seeking to define relationships. Currently, the Tar Heel State is does not recognize gay marriage. Now, they are seeking to ban it. The legislature this year managed to place on the ballot the following:
“Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”
If this amendment passes, North Carolina’s Constitution would read as follows:
“Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.”
Marriage, not civil unions, not domestic partnerships, is the only legal union. To some people, there might not be a distinction between only allowing heterosexually married couples to receive the government benefits of marriage. There is: this proposed amendment has the potential to impact domestic abuse charges, custody and support rights in non-married heterosexual couples.
There has long been the stereotype of the ‘narrow minded Southerner’. This amendment promotes that stereotype. In a telling quote, Majority Leader Rep. Paul Stam (R-NC 37) stated “They’re going to bring with them their same-sex marriages. They’re going to want to get divorced and have custody issues decided”, he said. “We’re not equipped to handle that.” Rep. Stam, let me personally assure you, the gay community is not interested in rushing to North Carolina to get divorced.
Maybe one day I’ll understand how individuals can think my decision on who to marry has any impact on his/her relationships (aside from the obvious affair). Passage of this amendment would be a giant step backwards. Not just for the LGBT community but for every citizen of North Carolina, and by extension everybody who knows and loves somebody in the Tar Heel State.
I find it bemusing that the political party which staunchly opposes perceived intrusions into our personal lives supports such a reaching decision. This is bigotry. This is fear mongering. This is hatred of the other.
My only hope and prayer is that the people of North Carolina see this for what it is worth and refute the amendment. We all deserve better.
Tags:Amendment One, anger, Civil Rights, diversity, equal marriage, family, Feminism, lgbt, Marriage, musings, North Carolina, people, personal responsiblity, Reflections, republicans, social justice, south, things that aren't common sense but should be, tolerance, vote
Posted in LGBT, Politics, Reflections, Religion | Leave a Comment »
March 24, 2012
There was a moment where I became acutely aware of my internal racism. We all have it: others can and will wax more poetic about the self-realization. Walking down a sidewalk in Cape Town, South Africa, I found myself in a sea of black men. I was aware of my internal panic. And I caught myself: I was in South Africa. That momentary rise of panic…where I fell prey to the images that had been portrayed in my middle of America upbringing caught me.
I shrugged it off. And I was (probably) wearing a hoodie. I usually wear one: I have a few “work” hoodies (really) and head to the gym most mornings with a hoodie on instead of a coat. They are a uniform of sorts. As I type this, I’m wearing a hoodie. Not as a statement but as a Saturday evening watching hoops sort of thing (Ohio State hoodie: Ohio State game).
By tomorrow night, 4 teams will have punched their tickets to the Final Four: this will involve roughly 48 student-athletes. In 2009, 243 African American men were murdered between the ages of 12-30 in the state of California alone. It’s a genocide of sorts: I don’t use that term lightly. I’ll never know what it means to be a racial minority in this country (well, maybe but the power nexus is still Anglo). I can grasp what it means to be an under represented person. However, racial stereotypes are far greater, the gaps far wider than that of being a woman and at least where I live, being gay (it doesn’t make the intolerance any less acceptable).
It’s Lent: a period of time of reflection in the Christian community. For all the hate filled politics, the politics of changing the power structure in this country and it rattling the foundations of many, we need to take a collective breath. President Obama was correct: Trayvon Martin would be his son if he had one. By all accounts Martin was a good, normal kid who was murdered because of fear.
What disturbs me the most is the lack of an immediate outcry. The lack of a proper investigation. Following the story a bit this week, hearing people discuss having to talk to their children about what to expect when they are stopped by the police left me wondering. What have I done? Not enough. I haven’t spoken up enough when people make remarks on race, gender, sexual orientation or religion. I haven’t said this is my line and you are over it enough.
I have 3 nephews: 5, 13 and 15. The middle one lives in his hoodies. It’s a sad commentary that I know he is safe wearing his hoodie because of his blue eyes, fair hair and freckles. All children should be safe: and nobody should have to have a conversation on how to avoid harassment from the police. We should be above this. The real tragedy will be when we don’t learn the lessons. This isn’t about confirming a fictional character to the Supreme Court: this is about a child murdered for merely being in the wrong place, wearing the wrong item of clothing.
Tags:basketball, crime, fear, fear mongering, hoodies, murder, Race, safety, skittles, trayvon martin
Posted in Lent, People, Politics, Reflections | 1 Comment »
March 20, 2012
I usually enjoy March: the days getting longer, the fun of the basketball games and the general awakening after a usually long winter.
This year? I think I might start by pulling my hair out. I’m over the war on the non-white heterosexual male. Over it. The latest shot? The a legislature in Idaho asking if a woman really would know if it’s rape or not.
Really? Between Susan G. Komen and Planned Parenthood, this simply has to end. Where are the men speaking up in defense of the reproductive choices for the women in their lives? Where are the brothers, sons, fathers, husbands saying my spouse is my partner: she is as strong as I am, she is worth as much as I am, she has the right to make her own choices regarding her health. And yes, stupid representative from Idaho, somebody knows when she or he has been raped.
Where are the men? The silence of the so called liberal men disgusts me almost as much as the conservative war on women by the right. Men, by sheer luck of being an XY instead of an XX, are part of the ruling elite: even if they are not part of the 1-15%. Conservative dialog is part of the process: hatred is not.
Equality is intimidating. It’s time for the men who say they are liberal, who say they are for women’s rights to stand up and shout back to those who seek to oppress the rights of others “this is unacceptable.” The era of Nixon’s Silent Majority is long gone. The stakes are much too high.
Tags:GOP, lgbt, Men, musings, people, politics, Random, Reflections, republicans, Silence, social justice, war on women
Posted in LGBT, People, Politics, Popular Culture, Reflections | 3 Comments »
