Never mind how I got there … but I found a new (or more correctly concurrent challenge). It’s a 72 Ideas in 72 Days project. Think of it as intentional simplification. Yes, I’ve been worried about my carbon foot print (hence the Kindle discussion). Yes, I’m pretty anti-consumerism and try to find ways to simplify my life. I’m not sure I’ll do them in order … ok, I probably will but #9 (purge your stuff) will take more than a day. I have a ton of just junk.
What do I want out of this adventure? I’m not sure. The beauty contestant answer is “inner peace?” The part of me that is over news stories of people saying “I don’t know how I got into so much debt” wants to be one of the people who breaks the cycle of I need the newest toy now. There is a part of me that is coming off of a hard weekend. I had a lovely time with a friend of mine but there were things on the side that reminded me of how much I’m disconnected from understanding a consumerist culture (not from my friend!). Maybe trying to further simplify, organize, be intentional will help me understand. I’m sure part of it is me just sitting at a crossroads not knowing where I am in my life. It isn’t a “oh, it’s the economy, you’ll figure it out” mode. More like, what, at the core is really important.
A friend of mine this weekend said (correctly so) the past 3 years or so have been an emotional black hole for me. I couldn’t deny it; they have been. It’s been hell. But was it hell? Or just understanding the ramifications of life that sometimes we all miss? Is it because at some point, I realized that there are things I care about and everything else. And the everything else is a much bigger pile.
It will be hard challenge: some things I just hate “edit your closet” (ack - more out of the idea that if i tear/rip/stain something I’ll use it to layer. Ok, but do I need 394054 shirts like that?), other items? Oh the corners of the back closet that I don’t like to go to: what will happen on those days? What about the times I am pushed. Can I be honest enough with what is going on to address the root? (probably not in a public place; but in my journal).
This past weekend was hard. Somebody made a comment that was tantamount to her life is harder than anybody elses. In the past, I probably would have just raged about it for a few weeks. I challenged her; I said nobody knows the path anybody else has to walk. Somebody else might find a blessing/respite in something another might find a burden. That was fine; the issue was that Eat, Pray, Love was about a “fake crisis” in somebody’s life and she was having “real” issues. I was amazed about how much competition goes on between people over stupid things “no, my crisis is more of a crisis than your crisis” (um, ok? what does that even mean?). Maybe I can find answers about why things like that bother me. Who knows.
72 days is a long time to spend examining your life when you are trying to run your life. I do know I’m tired of the clutter; maybe my clutter isn’t stuff but noise from people/situations/politics. It will be an adventure. I’ll be blogging about it here … everyday (hopefully). I’m interested in the results.